---

---

I would record
That I was 21

I just listened to a podcast
comparitive suffering so...

I would say I was lucky 
it was over 10 years ago now
And Mello is 10
I went to a funeral after the doctors appointment
A close friends brother had past
Truck accident
Noone but he knew
Why I was really crying

---

I’m
upset
That I’ve realized
I feel more than I can express
A limbo
Of
Knowing what I should
But could not do
Can barely admit
What I want with you
How I want you—
Every inch of
All of
You

---

not a Verse / practicing writing to be next to my non [yet] existant works of art 052022

Meminisse: In case I forget you

“Because one's memories aren't what actually happened - they're very subjective. You can always make it much better, right?” WKW

Often i struggle to grasp memories of you. I feel guilt in forgetting, it was a choice that I got really good at – until i chose to remember by then you’re faded and few. It feels like the way you recall a dream, you can’t trust how it occured in your mind while you slept and how it appears to you unexpectedly triggered by something that occured after, deja vive. Non sequential, fragmented, and against time.

Often i struggle to grasp
Memories of you
Guilty in forgetting
But choiced
Well at
Until
I chose to remember
But 
it’s faded and few
not well 
like a dream
untrustworthy of meaning
only
triggered after time
deja vive
non sequentital 
fragmented
against time 

MEMINISSE, IS A LATIN VERB THAT MEANS "TO REMEMBER." 

A

blurred by the evolvement of time — time as material / non sequential / fleetING + fragmentED / reshaped / REPLACED

] capsulating this process into tangible objects... memenisse.

---

Verse  051922

Verse -  draft

Yazz and yoint

glimpse
between
the swaying crowd

invisible
the spotlight
jounce audibly

glimmering fingers
dance with valves

ASMR bristles
simmer
on the batter

theres not much
not much to see

crowd merging

I close my eyes
I listen
I tilt
I to you
Our lips dance slow
slow with yozz
slow with yazz

---

a wonky Week

one wrist wound atop a smile face tattoo
two naked broken bulbs
three run ins from a past [ish] life
four locked in keys
five vices — it’s a difficult tuesday
six week expiration date, ended
seven am joltedly awakening i eight this week

---

Verse -  alt title: dating you dating me
   

e loo c v t

maybe it’s your ambience
illusive
irresponsible
yet free
unknowingly luring
so it seems
casual
ever itnot
Even if
you [I] want it partial
leeeeee
Supposable— illusive yourself
[myself]
Drony from responsibilities
unspoken
“partial”
desires
clouded by
hazy ambience
imbiguity
uncomminited yet safe by
your{s} [and my] own illusive
v
T

---

Verse - a draft in motion
   

Positions a Juxt
— a Balancing Act

^{light by sight} 

^{surface level deep
                   a spectrum 
usual habitual way
connection
                                         asiprational
untapped
         terroritories} 

---

Verse - related to the said previous drafT in motion
Also a lamp
  

Heavy Light

a preference
between 
a feeling
I teeter
between
changes
Heavy now
at times
Light
-ning fast
sporadically
Heavy
slow
let
it
simmer
in progress
stay in progress
stay in 
a feeling or 
preferably
escape as
an object
heavy in weight
light by sight

---

Verse forever Wip

Roberto

He is tall
He is red
He is black
            sheep

He is victim
He hit
Not me
My mother
I kicked

That night
A palm tree burn
mark
the fake tiled floor

The house burned
A home - “factory fire”

[Name]
Dead
I’m sorry

I want to remember better

He is
‘Boy’

Boy-yah

He is good to his kids
At least they say
He is playful
Like me when I drink
Pink

Him
Excessive Red
Red at yellow star city
Off day from school
Hookie

He watched
Me almost fall of the peak
              of a pirate ship

I try to remember better

He is on the floor
Red asleep
He likes black horses
Three

I can’t recall

Only from stories told

Rare from her
bolted memories
unlocked when she’s pink

she said it hurts
Like that night
I tried
to kick him off of her
dazed into the mirror
She almost burned
We

forget

I choose what to remember
that’s better

Is it?

memories of him
are rare
fleeting
abstracted
unreal
a psychosis

Capsulated
Memories
       
     Mine

---

Verse - missing x more lines [songs]
 

playlist you made me - I collaged

Filming helicopters crashing
Don't let this fall
into the rust of your tongue
Can you feel it?
It's all too clear
a tide moves in
Made up my mind

Remixed:

Filming
helicopters
crashing
a tide moves in
Don't let this fall

Can you feel it?
into the rust of your tongue
It's all too clear
Made up my mind

i never did though
 

---

1. Kilig

Perhaps one of the most popular untranslatable word in the Filipino language is the word “kilig.” Even though most Filipinos would mix it with several English words to make the expression “kilig to the bones,” the word itself is widely accepted as standalone.

In English, it could mean trembling, though even that translation is not close. After all, “kilig” specifically refers to the excitement and feeling you get when you have the proverbial “butterflies in your stomach,” like when you see your crush or when your partner surprises you with a gift. It can also apply to certain situations, like watching a romantic movie, where viewers witness something exciting like the main stars holding hands or even kissing.

2. Gigil

The word “gigil” could be described as an intense urge to pinch or squeeze someone due to their cuteness. It can also be used to describe the urge to clobber or punch someone just because of how annoying they are. It’s basically a dual-purpose word designed for two different situations.

---

a short lived acronym
well .. not that short
 

MCM

Maraschino
Cherry Memories

untranslatable

Müßiggang

German

104. Interestingly, the German word Müssiggang is produced by the conjunction between die Mußeleisure—and Gang, literally referring to the practice of "walking, passing,” and directly echoing the habit of the flaneur. Müssiggang stems from the same linguistic root as the word “duty”—das Müss—almost to suggest that idleness itself is generated from “duty"; or, alternatively, that it might be a praxis pregnant with necessity, regardless of whether the “idle labor" will eventually “give birth.”

---

Hermitude

Not a word

Wish Bone Chair

eye lid kisses
cheekbones and chairs

where      my
       wings      

lean
     my         ass
                        rest      over
                                       instead
the way he
         fucks me
    from                 behind
                                      the

   wish
         bone
   chair

DEfinE

Mise En Scène

/ˌmēz ˌän ˈsen/

the arrangement of scenery and stage properties in a play.

// strongly suggests the use of properties to achieve a particular atmosphere or theatrical effect.